...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
