what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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