i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
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I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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