Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
