just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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