we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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