I must be too annoying 4 u.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
