Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
