Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
