i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
