try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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