can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
