I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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