I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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