She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
