you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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