it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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