im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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