Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize