she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
