I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You pole danced in your parka.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
