Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
