how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
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I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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