So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
