bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
