Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
