i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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