strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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