Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
