my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
