the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
