She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
