I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
