you traded sex for a burrito?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
