I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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