Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
