thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
