New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
