I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
id be glad to
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
