doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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