i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Hippo gnu deer
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize