thus making me awesome and them whores
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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