I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
God, I missed his penis.
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