I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
