So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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