he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
