Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she told me i tasted like america
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
