Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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