Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Two words: blizzard sex
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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