so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
