Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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