I look better un-naked...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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