i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
