Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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