I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
