Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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