I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
