We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
