I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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