people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
