the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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